{on being brave + knowing some seasons are for processing a lot.}

spiritual inspiration

seems like the more months that pass the more i process. — do you ever feel like that?!

and i can’t seem to shake these “things”, as the seasons pass they only continue to build. some days they seem a bit lessened, but most days they seem full-on intense. but the seasons continue to bring more.

things like…

why didn’t we find a church sooner? {this has been on my heart for months.}

why can’t i connect with more friends in minneapolis? {i feel inadequate.}

why, when we moved from michigan to minnesota, did i have to leave my best friends? that was nearly 2.5 years ago and i still like those deep friendships are missing in my life. {i feel lost without my girls.}

why do i put so much pressure on myself? {i seem to always let myself down.}

last wednesday i packed my bags {three, to be exact}, and flew to nashville for blissdom. i’d been two other times and was pretty darn excited to attend this year. my handmade story, how i was able to leave my day job to pursue Gussy Sews full time heavily revolves around attending blissdom for the first time in 2010. it’s easy to say blissdom has a special place in my ruffly heart ♥. even though i’m in a rough season i still find things to be thankful for.

but this year, having attended a nearly a dozen {what?!} blog conferences, i knew it would be easy to come home and feel let down once real life settled back in. i cherish the time spent with other women and seem to hate coming back home only to feel like i have no one to do that with here. {i feel like i don’t know how to fit in.} i spent an extra 2 days in nashville with angie and can’t seem to shake some of the things we talked about. i suppose that’s a good thing ;)

there are so many women i share my journey with, but many of them live in other cites, ones that don’t start with minne- and end in -appolis.

i got home just a few days ago and i feel like i’m finally able to put my nail-polished finger on what i’ve been processing: sometimes seasons are for processing a lot ~ and each morning is a new opportunity at trying to be brave… even when i feel anything but.

i feel like we’re in a really weird place right now and it’s hard to know where + how to fit in.

my mind drifts back to all the things that should be/could be/would be if things were just… different. and so this means we’ve been processing some emotional, personal things. i don’t feel like myself. i miss our family. i’m trying to be more open to what God wants me to process. and despite being Gussy, i feel lonely… often. it’s terrible and i fear i’m going to offend, when really the main reason i’m sharing is to stop feeling this way.

do you ever feel like this? if you do, leave a comment below. i’d love to pray for you :) and if you feel comfortable, consider sharing a bit of your heart with your comment. i know i’m not the only one that feels like i can’t shake all that i’m processing ~ i hope we can come together as a community so we can all feel a little less alone.

xoxo.

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